As parents, we all walk a fine line when it comes to knowing how much is too much. When do we step in, and when do we let go? Do we listen to our gut, or do we honor what our children are asking of us; even if what they’re asking for is space?

Sometimes, these questions are easier to answer with my younger son. He needs help! It’s clear to everyone. Without the constant presence and support of family, he would struggle far more than he already does. So in his case, it’s not really a question. He needs us, and we show up.

But with my older son, it’s different. He has an IEP, yes, but he’s also twice-exceptional. He’s great at sports, makes friends easily, follows rules, and seems to be doing just fine on the surface. That’s where the parenting tightrope becomes real. He’s at an age…sixteen…where adolescence and independence collide with regular force. It’s where I find myself constantly questioning: Are we helping him or hovering? Are we supporting him or suffocating him? Am I a helicopter parent… or just a parent doing her best?

Last night, we hit one of those collision points right at the kitchen table.

I looked at my son, this tall, strong-willed, smart young man, and said to him, with every ounce of love in my heart:

You are still a child. And it is our job to get you to graduation, to launch you into adulthood as prepared and whole as we can. You may not always like how we parent. You may not always agree with the choices we make. But I will never stop parenting. I will never stop believing in you, advocating for you, and making sure you have what you need to become the exceptional person you’re meant to be.

I’ve often told him he’s the “exception to the rule.” Not because he’s my firstborn. Not because I love him more. But because he is exceptional. He is the very best of both our families: strong, sensitive, smart, funny. And I just wish, especially on his hardest days, that he could see what I see.

So yes, I may hover. I may worry. I may push harder than he wants me to. But I will never stop being his parent—not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

I will guide him with every breath I take… And when I can no longer walk beside him, I’ll parent him from the space I leave behind.

Because no matter how rough the waters get, I will be his anchor…his guide through the storm.