We’ve finally settled into our “new” routine, adjusting to our youngest being back at school. Recently, we had an IEP meeting after a significant safety issue. During the discussion, the topic of reinforcement came up. I shared that I felt the school team’s approach was too rigid. I have plenty of thoughts about reinforcement. That’s a deeper conversation for another day, but what stayed with me wasn’t the strategy itself.

It was the reminder that I could also implement a reinforcement system at home.

I quietly responded that I was aware. After all, for the past sixteen months, I have been running my son’s schooling, designing reinforcement systems, and managing behavior plans. And right now, I just want to be his mom.

That feels like such a simple request. But for those of us raising neurospicy, neurodiverse children, it’s not always something we’re allowed to be. We become case managers, advocates, behavior specialists, schedulers, data collectors. We become experts out of necessity.

But sometimes, we just want to be mom. Just be dad. Just be a parent.

In that meeting, one team member truly heard me. She gently reassured me that it was okay to just be his mom. She acknowledged that we, my son and I, have been through a lot on this journey. She gave me permission, at that moment, to step back.

I didn’t realize how much I needed that.

I needed someone besides myself to see that I don’t always get to be “just mom.” I needed someone to acknowledge that sometimes it’s okay to say no! To not implement another system, not take on another responsibility, not add one more layer of structure.

We are in the lull between storms. And I know another one will come; it always does. But if I want to be prepared to support my child and our family when that time comes, I need to protect this moment.

Today, I am choosing to just be his mom. And I am ok with that!