The other night, I lay awake, mind racing with the usual mental checklists and all the tasks and reminders that never seem to shrink. As the new school year unfolds, the lists feel heavier than ever.

But in the quiet of that moment, something hit me: nearly every item is about one child.  The one who struggles the most, the one with more medical appointments and diagnoses than the rest of us combined.

But then, a deeper question surfaced: What about my other child?

When does he get a spot on the list? Not just a token reminder or a text between therapy sessions, but real, intentional space? 

In those quiet, early hours, I started wondering: Have I unintentionally let his strength, his independence, push him to the background? Have I allowed his abilities to become the reason his needs are overlooked?

It’s not that he doesn’t get love; he absolutely does. But has he had to carry the weight of being the easy one? The one I don’t have to worry about as much? And in that ease, has he also absorbed the invisible burden of staying quiet, staying strong, and staying out of the way?

That realization stung.

So I’m making a new kind of list. One with his name on it. A list that reminds me to ask how he is doing.  A list that makes room for his interests, his emotions, his dreams. 

To other parents walking this same road: I see you. And if you’re wondering whether you’re doing enough for the sibling in the background, maybe this is your gentle nudge to pause, look over, and let them step into the spotlight…..even if just for a moment.

Because every child deserves to feel like they matter; not just in the chaos, but in the calm too

Thanks for being here!
– Carolyn
Always an FTC Warrior