Understanding Behavior in the Classroom
As autumn settles in and routines in school, take shape, some parents may start hearing that their child is struggling to follow classroom rules or is disrupting the learning environment.
It’s normal to feel surprised or even defensive when this happens. You may think:
“I don’t see that behavior at home, what’s going on in the classroom?”
“I told you my child might struggle—why is this just coming up now?”
But let’s step back. Behavior is communication, and from a scientific perspective, it’s often a response to a stimulus.
Just like the sound of an ice cream truck leads to a sprint and a shout for money to buy ice cream, certain triggers at school may be prompting emotional or behavioral responses in your child.
🔍 Let’s Explore: What Is Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation happens when someone has difficulty managing emotions in a safe or appropriate way. It can look like:
- Yelling or screaming
- Throwing objects
- Making inappropriate comments
- Leaving the space or hiding
Why does this happen?
There are many possible root causes:
- Challenges with learning or executive functioning
- Difficulty communicating needs
- Response to non-preferred tasks
- Basic unmet needs like hunger, tiredness, or feeling ill
- Unrealistic expectations set in the environment
- Lagging skills (i.e. trouble focusing)
How to Proactively Support Children Who Struggle with Emotional Regulation
Identify the Root Cause:
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Talk with your child’s teacher, school counselor, or a specialist to explore any lagging skills or environmental triggers.
Prioritize Safety
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Focus on urgent concerns first, especially if unsafe behaviors like aggression or elopement are involved.
Break It Down & Keep It Simple through Practical Strategies:
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Use Visual Supports: Picture schedules, feelings charts, or coping strategies boards can help children express emotions more clearly.
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Minimize Verbal Overload: When dysregulated, too many words can overwhelm. Keep communication short and calm.
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Model Coping Skills: Practice deep breathing, counting, or using a fidget tool when your child is calm.
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Create Predictable Routines: Consistency builds confidence and reduces anxiety, especially during transitions.
In the Challenging Moment: What Should You Do?
During an emotional episode:
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Stay calm.
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Keep instructions (talking) minimal.
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Provide space while ensuring safety.
Later, when your child is regulated, reflect together on what happened and some possible responses or strategies to use for the next time.
When Is It Time to Seek Specialized Support?
Reaching out for help doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re leaning into your child’s needs.
Signs Your Family Might Benefit from Outside Support:
- You’ve tried everything in your toolbox, but nothing sticks
- You’re getting frequent school calls or emails
- You sense something deeper is going on
- Your child’s responses are intense, prolonged, or unsafe
- It’s impacting daily life, relationships, or well-being
Final Thoughts: One Size Does Not Fit All
Every child is different, and support plans, at school and at home, should be individualized. What works for one might not work for another.
🌱 Progress takes time.
With practice, persistence, and patience, growth happens: one step at a time.
🎉 Celebrate small wins.
Each moment of self-regulation, each calm response, is a victory worth recognizing.
🤝 You’re Not Alone
If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, remember, support is available, and seeking it is a sign of strength and not failure.
Together, we can help our children thrive, emotionally, behaviorally, and academically.
Have questions? Need support? Reach out for a personalized plan and support.
“When we see a behavior that is problematic or confusing,the first question we should ask isn’t “How do we get rid of it?” but rather“What is this telling us about the child?”
— Mona Delahooke, Beyond Behaviors